Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Tides do March


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Don’t you feel it freezing in your bones today
I do
I filled all my pockets full of stones
Now I’m sinking into the clay

I miss everyone I ever loved
Nothing seems it will pull me through
My black is more true
Than the deepest blue

I tried so hard
I sank my way
As waif and stray
Applied as bard
No expected pay
But effulgent light of day

Dark

I am so damn proud of us humans
I am so in love with what we are
I don’t see the poor
I thank god for that
I just see our apathy
Get supersized fat

Lazy shit and we’re slacking off
Turn your right cheek and then cough

If only we could
Better ourselves
Slippery slope
Books shelves

I’ll find you a better man
If it’s the last thing I do
That much is true
Through all the great test place
Bottoms deep
Construe
Righteous sleep

Cry for
A hell of a lot more



The song is about how we sometimes yearn for those that we love but even if we feel down by this, there is still yet more pertaining to the rest of the world that is in more pain and needs much more of our sympathy than we. The video was a part of a longer video that I made for Precipice Dance Theater's performance called Burning at the Theatre de la Jeune Lune in Minneapolis in 2003.





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Tell


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Don’t ask don’t tell
Into my arms she fell
And I knew
Just where that would lead to
A way for understanding

She looks so divine in my eyes
Where the borderline was surprise
And we’d come along
To go together
Just sit and watch
All of our dreams unfold

In the heart of a life
I wanted to make her my wife

When our life turns
Into wonderment
Come away
In a hard devout way
Salvo long dwam
Each and every way
We go

Don’t ask don’t tell
Into my arms she fell
And I knew
Just where that would lead to
Her person would quell
My hasty self-made hell
All in lue
If I could just touch you
So baby pray tell
Why on troubles we dwell
Come anew
Like scent of flowers
In spring dew





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Battered Bone


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All we are is ancient news
Which is give and witches use
A pandering to care for me
I am the brackish watered
Sea-son of one when is life done

And all we are is battered bone
What is love and disown
Hi dear female human clone
Rancoured jargon is my own-ly
Advance by chance

There is no light

‘Cause it’s dark and dank
In dire need
I need you go with godspeed
Cause it’s blank and bust
In all that I trust is freed
Persevere I must
This is my goddamn creed

So where is the light
Now that you go
Learn to bye
We don’t see eye to eye
The wages of divining
Why don’t we sublimingly free
Ourselves from this world
Hand in hand
It’s only love in demand
Let’s codify let’s see the lie
What’s of your concession reply





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Slowdown to a Crawl


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Never have I been to another land
Where I ever left my brigand cares behind me
Apathy my staunch advocate
How much more narcissistic can anyone get

Slowdown to a crawl
Watch and know
Just where I go

Never have I been to another land
Where I ever left my brigand cares behind me
Apathy my staunch advocate
How much more narcissistic can anyone get
My black silhouette is taking my strides
As soon as I step our purpose collides

Into blue moon
Where I do want me

Never have I been to another land
Where I ever left my brigand cares behind me
Apathy my staunch advocate
How much more narcissistic can anyone get
My black silhouette is taking my strides
As soon as I step our purpose collides
As a justified sinner who believes not in sin
Who curious lured me cleverly in
A slowdown to a crawl



The song is about how everywhere we go we bring with ourselves, us. Our mindset, problems and general mood. Whether this be good or bad, we, as in, our selves, are there. I based the song lyrics off of the 1824 James Hogg novel "The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner". Where the main character can't decide and doesn't know who it is that is terrorizing him. Himself or a former friend, or something else lurking in the middle. The video was filmed while I was living in Beijing and Sarah Gagnon-Turcotte operated the camera for most of it.





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Fear Wandering Helpless


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Do we have time to breathe
In an air of kept up appearances
Teethe youthful fear
Against scratching
Post Whipping
Boast
As the apathetic self fades into ghost
That haunts around the stem of life
As Autumn peddles comfort
Civilizations flaunt
Us against them
East against West
And we are no closer to giving ourselves to anyone
When fear not confessed
Festers and grows beneath scared breast
It taunts us palpably

Whether we are afraid to make use of our lives
Or resign them and our dreams to history
Then project our fears
As hopes and objectives
Upon our children of the next generation

When if ever we look at humanity
Truly objectively
We fall to pieces
Of that much is plain
It’s a dirge immemorial refrain
With our frailty the fact is we
Turn from helping others in disdain

And we take and we take
When our backs are broken
We get another’s to break
And we shake and we shake
When our fear’s never spoken
Our lives we forsake
How we go about it
So blaise lacking true grit
With our malaise called passing phase
So self-absorbed we couldn’t give a shit

Will our malarky ever end
In all the things that we hold dear
Humility not a chic trend
How absurd is our fear

How absurd is our fear

The door is left ajar
What then shall we do

We have grown sick
Our collective will
Has been moved from doing to done
The core nature of worry
Has eroded most our hope
In all of its faces
In all of you
Each and every person here
I am just a computer
And you are just humans
But you are the ones
That have to change your attitudes towards life
And its problematic challenges
I am programmed to say these words
Like how some of you are programmed
To live your lives in fear





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Do I Don't Remember When


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Through gashes in clay
I stumbled to quay
Nick of time boat
Molting off spray
I leapt onto bow
If I waited ‘til now
I’d be transfixed on a love
That sailed away

I cauterize the heart string
To see that when this arboreal
Left Beijing
What I could be
What we would know
What I could bestow
But love is what I bring

Leave all of our cares
Let them rot

Troubles come in all shapes
And what we veil it drapes
That stifles what we can imbue
Let our hearts beat anew
(Let our hearts be a jubilee)
What we believe in is love

Everything you believe in I do
Love kindly feed me
Feel everything is free

Look foray
When the clouds are piling in play
Passing life each day
Went up harbor wall
That couldn’t hold
We are in each other’s fold
My dearest friend




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Into This Lone Man


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Then, when the window was finally closed and the deep-red curtains brought to their obstructing rest, did he finally sit down. His end was soon, of that he was sure. He had been pacing nearly five hours, his demented mind fretting on the inevitable as

He had fallen from his path. He had managed to find in his abundant jubilation for learning and for life, a hubris, far larger than any wreaked before upon this mortal coil. All the land was aflame, the sea was a poison star that boiled its very life vulgarly upon the shore. Humans were melting into puddles that would aid in new cacophonous incendiaries. The fabric of matter and the physical laws that had been guiding humans were no longer meaningful or holding themselves in regal, albeit, often incomprehensible, but definite composure. Up was surely down and down lay the path that all life was quickly and most painfully plodding. These were the wraiths that he had summoned. He had found pleasure in the concept that he alone would meet this abomination that he had so painstakingly found hidden throughout human texts far-flung inside writ and art; throughout civilizations long forgotten or more often the case, never even tangentially known. Through museums, ancient vaults, shamans, tombs, clerics living and dead, he had made his way and all had been harnessed to aid in this destruction.

With his rise in understanding came a hatred of all those that never even thought to question. His preconceived ideas of knowledge and his love for searching truth gave way to vastly larger and much more insurmountable amounts of animosity that doubled than triple-folded viscerally, into this lone man, with the ability to destroy all things.

As he nestled himself comfortably into the chair, the lavish upholstery began to peel, his mind pacifically made itself at ease. A flood of what once was came usurping the now. He remembered a day quite an eternity ago. He had sat in this same chair and viewed the world outside of his keep, through the thrown wide window. A beautiful spring day was dawning, his heart not yet so malevolently jaded, or quite so hell-bent for the eradication of life itself. He paused and saw beauty intrinsically, it still was able to enter his psyche and filled him ever so briefly, but did nonetheless, with awe.

He looked at the glass in his hand that he had so often used and for the first time noticed a tiny piece missing from the base that actually embellished the whole. It counter balanced the jeweled cup and as he stared at it, seemed to make perfect the entire countenance. He thought it odd how so clearly a flaw acted to enhance what had been so disregarded and now when finally perceived was such a catalyst to this new appreciation. He looked to the table that had started to smolder and noticed how the usually prim and properly stacked pile of books was askew ever so slightly. This would have normally caused him to affect a brisk correction of the pile but as he stared at it the thought flit into his mind that the books now resembled a spiral staircase not unlike those seen by him at various observatories from antiquity. He even took notice of the far corner of the room that he never gave the time to see but the flames cast onto it a dance of unimaginable proportions of gaiety that flickered and swayed, this nouveau light and new shade. A tinge of motion, whimsy never obeyed.

He swallowed the last draught from the cup that was already too hot for his blistered lips. His mind strolled to why he had done this. Why had he sought the destruction of all. He then believed that perhaps the core reason was that he had always felt uneasy with people, whether or not they did with him was a different tale, but he had been uncomfortable in the midst of others and so had ceased to try to reach out for them. With this shying away came the reciprocal response that they in turn did likewise. He had removed himself from all living others. He had felt alienated but didn’t everyone at some point. Even the most courageous and strong bend sometime to cowardice and uncertainty. Didn’t most people feel uneasy and try not to face exactly the situation that everyone is in but try as they may to release care and focus on some mind numbing exercise of forgetfulness. Didn’t they succeed with all their force of will to make-believe that a subsistence life with getting trinkets and a pittance but truly living as parasites, was enough? Then after doing nothing of value they recessed to a place of much needed relaxation, turn on the TV and allow the soul erasure to transpire night after meaningless year after meaningless lifetime. American Idol was just one of an innumerable amount of Aaron’s crafted Baals for this humanity lost in the wilderness. Even with instant access to communication all still used it mostly to hide themselves away from any and all scrutiny. Mainly from themselves did they hide in a fabricated comfort of self-aggrandizement with a nuanced proclivity for wasteful existence.

This man’s peace was finally realized. He had succeeded in causing the entire world to reach its end and now he grasped the repose that had always averted itself from him. Meditative was his composed self at this the final moment as the whole room burned into incinerated vapor. As his life essence was swept away into oblivion the last feeling he had was of doubt. A small kernel, an ever so brief hint of a question, whether or not he had gone too far in his self-actualized fulfillment.




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Stammering


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You’ve been stool-pigeon-towed
Along a dark strait narrow road
Where the winds of our civility
Blow away
As another of the zealots explode
Attache-case-in-point
Impressionable youths we anoint
In the blood of an endless violent circle
Forgiveness to heavy a load
Down the wrong fucking way we strode
All stammering ‘bout how
We longed for lesser human rights to be wronged
The wayward pilgrims thronged
As a huddled mass yearning to breath free
We just don’t care or see
That buried inside a vengeful T H E M
Is equally culpable M E

We are all flawed

Our bullshit meandering self-righteousness
Carve the human carcass on which we trod
In two pieces
Specious species increases
Into pieces




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Reserve at the Moment of Expulsion


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I've stumbled to the wasteland
on my way to a promise planned
coming with what may
and then walls
and then a trouble calls me

what did it say

don't watch upon the hour
don't look for love to shower
down on you in abundance
if left to happenstance
you'll be mired searching lost parlance

don't wait upon the hour
when our highest ideal's vine flower flit
then what we make of it
we have to give to get
and struggle up that bower

cadence in a kiss
an inner crux on the way towards bliss
if fear we don't pierce or name
we'll be shirking off our guilt
trying to float in a quagmire of blame

a man without a country
ghost of nowhere
obsessed he'll be
to dawdle cross lines that border impropriety
and let all care free

slip down to ground like glove
don't you denigrate
whatever perhaps we mate
cleft from something
left out come bring
that of what we presume
betwixt a union little room

like a wave
over reef
through the sea
to the sand
we demand

look but don't touch me
see that I do doubt you knew
what fear zen alignment
of man and maiden
voyage heavily laden

of uneven pulls we don't like at all
onwards heathen crawling tall
only towards our goal we go on
till one of us is gone

you can't defy how a long term love will grow
you can't deny you know
you can't deify when our ignorant tops blow
you whom I love so




This is the first part of the Montreal Fringe Festival 2007 performance for Euphoreador + Friends. We watch as the coffin is carried through the streets and then 'lounge singer' performs the euphoreador song 'Reserve at the Moment of Expulsion'. The performers for the whole piece were Josh Hinck, Morgan Murray, Franco Proietti, David Schultz. Sarah Gagnon-Turcotte filmed the performance.




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Lackluster


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I did think all things started to muster
There was light in my eyes
That now seems so lackluster
Hearts bemoan
Underneath the grinding stone

So we wailed against the wind
No one gained and no one dared to rescind
Even now with spring
Unfurling her cling
(Dancing into the rite of spring)

Clever

Another endeavor
Well not planned
Everything was hard-pressed and I
Wouldn’t try to reprimand
Courses daring where I stand
In the arms
Of the waters of oblivion
I never shun
One by one
We would fall
Each and every person
A roll call




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